Monday, December 17, 2007

Sometimes ...

It's hard to say "I love you." I don't know why. Perhaps because relationships are complicated -- and because those words are charged with so much emotion. Perhaps because giving is so much harder than taking. Perhaps because it drains away energy if the words are not returned.

What we feel for spouses, parents, children, friends and others who move us whether they know it or not often remains unsaid. Maybe love is just being there. Who knows?

Thank you is easier -- it doesn't have to be as gut wrenching. We can pass it off with a quick smile and move on to the next activity without reflecting on how we are all so interconnected. Scientists who explore the unknown, doctors who focus on repairing bodies and those special people who try to mend broken souls make our lives better -- yet we seldom know their names. It's the same for those who sacrifice their saftey for ours like soliders, policemen and firefighters.

In the early 80s, I was married and a mother. I was going to engineering school -- and I was still trying to make sense out of my troubled relationship with my father who had died in 1976. I was years away from understanding the dynamics of my own life, let alone his.

A tune, written and performed by a stranger, struck me and I listened to it over and over again. I picked it out on my guitar -- and hummed it as I was driving. I sang it in the shower -- and after the last note, I cried in the shower. It didn't give me peace -- but it gave me many hours of reflection.

In the end, I decided to treasure those around me for who they are -- not for what I wanted them to be. Easy enough for some, but a life changing event for me.

Tonight, when I heard that Dan Fogelberg died, I wanted to thank him -- but it was too late. I never knew him but he touched me once long ago. Thank you, Dan.

6 comments:

Moon said...

Good music. Some songs are poetry with music. Wisdom is usually so simple and there is wisdom in your words. We should live in the moment, feeling and appreciating. We are in hurry so much of the time that we overlook the obvious. Caring also creates vulnerability. Being open to things is dangerous. What you write about is the difference between walking through life and running away from it. If we are fortunate enough to get in touch with ourselves it happens at odd moments. The tears are usually hidden in the shower. That is where I grieved the best at the passing of my father. Keep teaching us.

Jerry Pat Bolton said...

You waxed rather philosophically here, Joyce, and you . . . Waxed . . . Quite eloquently . . . We all express our love differently I suppose. Some do it with a rousing shout while others quietly prove it. Some demand an expression of love whether it is sincere or not . . . You, on the other hand have grace a man's leaving with this unique and totally honest expression of love for the man you gave you many, many hours of quiet reflection . . . It could not have been expressed any better . . .

Carolyn Howard-Johnson said...

This is a lovely reminder,Joyce. I sometimes pause to think that I give hugs to friends more readily than my daughter. Odd, huh? Maybe it's because I don't want her to think she's still a child? Or that I want to respect her distance? Or ???? Who knows? On the other hand, those words sometimes seem so empty, so overdone. I'll try to say them more in the future, but I'll also try to add something else that makes them more meaningful. (-:
Best,
Carolyn Howard-johnson
www.authorsden.com/carolynhowardjohnson

Allyn Evans said...

What a lovely piece. I, too, am a Dan Fogelberg fan. I saw that he died yesterday and it gave me pause.

I learned how to play all the songs of "Captured Angel" on my piano as a teenager.

I decided to buy it...that and "Souvenirs" today to replace my never-used-anymore albums.

....same old lang syne

Allyn Evans
www.allynevans.blogspot.com

Christine said...

I love Dan Fogelberg. I can't believe he did. I've been crying all day about this thing or that. Now I have another thing to wail about. For Shrieking Out Loud!!

Love your writing, Joyce. I am so glad I can enjoy you now day after day!

Warmly,
Christine
http://diaryofamother.blogs.com

Christine said...

I love Dan Fogelberg. I can't believe he did. I've been crying all day about this thing or that. Now I have another thing to wail about. For Shrieking Out Loud!!

Love your writing, Joyce. I am so glad I can enjoy you now day after day!

Warmly,
Christine
http://diaryofamother.blogs.com

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